So I work in a big corporate office. I'm on level 19 and I think there are about 33 levels in the building. So I'm half way up this suicide airplane target.
Every floor has one of these. One for women and the other for men. What am I talking about? - the bathrooms of course. I have a bit of anecdotal information about the mens but all of my experiences are of the womens' loos. Remarkably, I haven't accidentally stepped into the mens bathrooms at work, yet.
I wouldn't normally choose to write about this (and indulge your inner love of toilet humour) but today as I entered the ladies, a fellow colleague came out of a cubicle carrying a NOVEL. Like a story book with what appeared to be a distinct fantasy novel cover on it. Hello? This is so wrong in so many ways and it has disturbed me so much that I cannot help but blog about it.
Reading - So I know that many people read while sitting on the porcelein bowl AT HOME. I don't but after asking around, my question for you is: Was that the only place you were left alone? so as a result, perhpas you took a book there for some "alone" time and now still do it out of habit? I am worried about a lot of things when it comes to this; the hygiene and also why "it" is taking so long. Maybe you aren't eating enough fibre? anyway... I'm being distracted. My point is that, it is not okay to bring this practice to the office. Taking a newspaper or a novel to the office bathrooms is not okay.
Telephones - Taking phone calls while in the bathroom. This is also unacceptable. I have heard people "plop" on me before while being on the other end of the line and it is not nice. Yes, I said it. I am stating here for the record that the right thing to do is to send the call straight to voicemail. Yes, you shouldn't even pick up the phone and tell them you will call back. How long are you planning on using the toilet for anyway? Again, fibre. You may need to eat more fibre. I hear that spinach or Metamucil are good. This includes Blackberrys and any other device that you speak into. No, and a second no, from me.
Chatting - You are chatting to your friend as you go into the bathroom. Do you continue this conversation once you've entered the cubicle? No. I think it is best not. The discussion, no matter how important, or how much you dearly want this important office personality to like you, shouldn't continue once you enter the cubicle. There are so many obscene noises happening in the bathrooms anyway. The two don't duet well together.
General office bathroom ettiquette - There are about seven cubicles in the bathroom. One is taken already. Which cubicle should you choose? This is not a Pick Your Own Adventure book. The answer is, one that is NOT beside the one that is currently occupied. Simple hey? Not so. Apparently people don't get this or they are in some terrible rush and they opt for the cubicle right next to me? I feel like my space is being encroached on. I get uncomfortable. Why do you want to be so close to me when I am at my most vulnerable? My pants are down for goodness sake. (Men, yep this applies to the urinal even more so. Don't get close to someone else unless you have no other choice. It is damn awkward for everyone okay!?)
Sex change - You've had a sex change. You are still looking part man, part woman. Which bathroom should you use? I don't know which I would choose. I don't have an answer but I have seen this at work before and I felt odd. I couldn't tell whether it was a man who was pretending he didn't realise that there were women in the bathroom or maybe he didn't know it wasn't a unisex bathroom. If in doubt of your sexual orientation during the process of a sex change, I'd probably use the disabled toilets. I don't mean to be non-PC but it seems like a good middle ground to me. I'm sorry if I've inadvertantly offended anyone.
That's it readers. I don't really want to write about this topic anymore. It makes me feel unwell. I guess the upside is that we've got toilets at all. Yay! We aren't using holes in the ground and we have decent sewage systems generally speaking (except if you live in an old building and it is several stories high and you are on the ground floor... I will leave that one for another day. Yes, I've seen that one too and it was "not nice").
Every floor has one of these. One for women and the other for men. What am I talking about? - the bathrooms of course. I have a bit of anecdotal information about the mens but all of my experiences are of the womens' loos. Remarkably, I haven't accidentally stepped into the mens bathrooms at work, yet.
I wouldn't normally choose to write about this (and indulge your inner love of toilet humour) but today as I entered the ladies, a fellow colleague came out of a cubicle carrying a NOVEL. Like a story book with what appeared to be a distinct fantasy novel cover on it. Hello? This is so wrong in so many ways and it has disturbed me so much that I cannot help but blog about it.
Reading - So I know that many people read while sitting on the porcelein bowl AT HOME. I don't but after asking around, my question for you is: Was that the only place you were left alone? so as a result, perhpas you took a book there for some "alone" time and now still do it out of habit? I am worried about a lot of things when it comes to this; the hygiene and also why "it" is taking so long. Maybe you aren't eating enough fibre? anyway... I'm being distracted. My point is that, it is not okay to bring this practice to the office. Taking a newspaper or a novel to the office bathrooms is not okay.
Telephones - Taking phone calls while in the bathroom. This is also unacceptable. I have heard people "plop" on me before while being on the other end of the line and it is not nice. Yes, I said it. I am stating here for the record that the right thing to do is to send the call straight to voicemail. Yes, you shouldn't even pick up the phone and tell them you will call back. How long are you planning on using the toilet for anyway? Again, fibre. You may need to eat more fibre. I hear that spinach or Metamucil are good. This includes Blackberrys and any other device that you speak into. No, and a second no, from me.
Chatting - You are chatting to your friend as you go into the bathroom. Do you continue this conversation once you've entered the cubicle? No. I think it is best not. The discussion, no matter how important, or how much you dearly want this important office personality to like you, shouldn't continue once you enter the cubicle. There are so many obscene noises happening in the bathrooms anyway. The two don't duet well together.
General office bathroom ettiquette - There are about seven cubicles in the bathroom. One is taken already. Which cubicle should you choose? This is not a Pick Your Own Adventure book. The answer is, one that is NOT beside the one that is currently occupied. Simple hey? Not so. Apparently people don't get this or they are in some terrible rush and they opt for the cubicle right next to me? I feel like my space is being encroached on. I get uncomfortable. Why do you want to be so close to me when I am at my most vulnerable? My pants are down for goodness sake. (Men, yep this applies to the urinal even more so. Don't get close to someone else unless you have no other choice. It is damn awkward for everyone okay!?)
Sex change - You've had a sex change. You are still looking part man, part woman. Which bathroom should you use? I don't know which I would choose. I don't have an answer but I have seen this at work before and I felt odd. I couldn't tell whether it was a man who was pretending he didn't realise that there were women in the bathroom or maybe he didn't know it wasn't a unisex bathroom. If in doubt of your sexual orientation during the process of a sex change, I'd probably use the disabled toilets. I don't mean to be non-PC but it seems like a good middle ground to me. I'm sorry if I've inadvertantly offended anyone.
That's it readers. I don't really want to write about this topic anymore. It makes me feel unwell. I guess the upside is that we've got toilets at all. Yay! We aren't using holes in the ground and we have decent sewage systems generally speaking (except if you live in an old building and it is several stories high and you are on the ground floor... I will leave that one for another day. Yes, I've seen that one too and it was "not nice").
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