Last day

Today is my last day as a 'regular' employee at Westpac. As of Monday, I am in what they call the redeployment pool. They are apparently going to give me a 'letter' that has legal ramifications and starts the whole official process. I get four weeks in this pool where the expectation is that I look for work, both internally and externally.

As I walked by the art gallery this morning and through the Domain looking at the city skyline above Macquarie Street, I was feeling a bit emotional. I'm scared, very scared, excited, relieved and reflective. I'm not angry anymore which is also good. I was previously angry because I was told that I wouldn't be eligible for a variable bonus which I felt like I deserved. (This might sound strange to some of you reading this but when you work from 6am to 3pm the following day without going home (on your birthday!) as well as pulling 15 hour days for three weeks and work on weekends as well, you do expect some sort of monetary reward; especially when you have previously been monetarily rewarded for it.)

Making and keeping friends is not my forte

I have issues with making friends and also with keeping them once I've made them. I get pissed off easily. I am also hard to get along with and am very fickle People generally don't like hanging out with moody people like me. I think it makes their lives difficult. I generally agree I am quite difficult too.

Risk averse

I am pretty risk averse. Well it depends actually. Compared to the people here at work, I am told I'm not but that isn't hard considering it is a BANK. It's like saying I'm creative, compared to the people at work. Of course, I am! It's a bank for goodness sake! and people who work in a bank are here because they aren't creative, or once were but their desire to own a home and not rent for eternity put them here (which I am totally fine with mind you).

What I was trying to say before I got distracted was that because I am risk averse, I am very scared about making a change. I am really chicken! I am stuck in this rut and it's safer in this rut than outside of it. Anyway, too keep this analogy going, I've basically been given a leg out of here.

World Press Photo 08

Just went the the World Press Photo 08 exhibition at the State Library. It's very worthwhile. A few of them left a lasting impression on me. They made me sad that there is so much war happening in the world. We're so sheltered here. How can we not be happy with our lot?

My first thought when looking at all the war photos, given my current situation, was that this was an example of meaningful work - exposing the plight of those people who wouldn't otherwise have a voice. Ben correctly reminded me that as bankers we're starting from a low base.

You should definitely read the blurbs on the sides of them too if you go because they provide some good insight into where the photo is taken and what the issue is, that it is trying to make you think about.

Friendship groups

I was chatting to my neighbour at work today about friendship groups. You've been friends with them for a while and when you often go out for dinner or a drink on the weekend with them. Somehow whoever is organising the night, knows who the other members of the group are to invite.

There is 'team A' who are the core group who will always be there and then there is 'team B'. Team B sometimes gets invited but not always. They are the bench team, the reserves. When you're planning a weekend away, team A will be asked first and then team B members will be asked only if any team A members cannot make it. Within 'Team B' there are people who just don't quite fit in but who have been around long enough and who get along with a few members of team A.

Why do we have these arrangements? I don't know. (Do I ever?) I just thought it was strange that both the guy I sit next to here at work and my ex boyfriend's group both have this unspoken arrangement with their friends. Is it just pragmatic? or is it because we're too 'nice' to ask the people we don't like to 'piss off'?

Quote from the InTheMix forums:

"I met my current girlfriend through her older sister who I used to go out with lol"

... keeping it in the family!