It's almost the middle of 2011

I think I started this blog just over two years ago. Far out! To think that I've been complaining and whining to an invisible person on the web for almost two years and still going... albeit slowly of late.

I took the day off work today because my asthma is playing up and I can't breathe properly without coughing and wheezing. I am on some sort of steroids for my lungs at the moment which help temporarily.

Anyway, I'm not really here to talk about being sick, or the two year anniversary of this piece of blogness. I'm here to discuss the fact that two years on, after being so hopeful that I would REALLY find my place in the world, a job or career that I would TRULY enjoy, that I have yet to succeed and in other words, am still failing at.

Every Monday and Tuesday night, as I leave work, I dream about all the different places I might like to work. Monday and Tuesday evenings because that is when my work satisfaction levels are at their lowest and when my motivation to find a better job is at its highest. Usually I have a theme for my job search. Of late, I have decided that working at a university would be interesting for me. I have also decided that what I am doing at the moment, it still dead boring. I had convinced myself, when applying for this job, that maybe it was really just that area/team that I was working with, that annoyed the fuck out of me. I think I was right the first time. Big corporate work places like mine, have huge workforces to push paper around. To reduce risk, to report data, to greet customers, to make new "strategic" plans etc etc... all of this is DEAD BORING.

Winding back a little, it got to a point where I was starting to get desperate for cashola and sadly, the only place that would employ me was a bank. And while it pays well, I can't for the life of me understand why it pays well when I feel like I'm just a glorified admin clerk.

I applied for this job as a business supervisor at UTS last week. I think I have a low chance of getting an interview, and an even lower chance of actually getting the job. And so my whinging continues. Will I ever find my job nirvana? Will I ever achieve true job satisfaction? What does my future hold? Am I too idealistic? a dreamer?