Update - Spain is cold and not warm

Jose did not get his scholarship to go to the New York Film Academy. He has until late August next year to find the funds. He has already been accepted so I guess that is half the battle. What occurred to me as I watched him find out this news over the internet yesterday afternoon, was that he really wants something, a hell of a lot. And that not getting the scholarship is just a minor set back and not the end of the road.

So I continue on my search to really want something, a lot, a lot. Two things I figured, maybe I just need to continually be making some sort of progress. And secondly, maybe I should just drink more. When has alcohol ever let me down...

To remedy the depressing situation (Jose not getting $34k to study abroad), his housemate Rafa bought him a lottery ticket (we checked this morning and he had not won) and went out on a mission to get drunk. My liver was at its limit early. I had forgotten that the Spanish smoke inside. My eyes were stinging and watering from the smoke. It is impossible not to light up when hanging around the Spanish.

(I feel like I am in crisis. I am in crisis- paralysed by options. Paralysed by having to go home to Sydney... which I am desperately trying to avoid.)

Culture - they eat pate here for breakfast. I am cool with that. I dig pate. Hmmm... They eat a lot of meat. This could be because they are a house of boys. They have special pork which gets fed with just special nuts or something. I guess what the pig eats theory is a good one... so pork in Sydney is still on my no-go list.

Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex - 

"... suffering and rejection of life insisted that old age would not continue the manifold pleasures of youth but would instead be a long trial that slowly robbed life of even its smallest, simplest joys. Everyone struggles against despair, but it always wins in the end."