moment of clarity

I wrote an email and did some invoicing for the odd jobs I've been doing around the place. I am really beginning to value money more and I like it more this way I think. I like having to work for my money.

I guess I sometimes use this blog to "wind down" after a long day. Today I had a really long day and I should probably be sleeping. Do you believe that you could be sitting somewhere and at some point, when you think life is really pointless, you have that moment of clarity? I am kind of hoping for a moment like that when I am traveling in November.

I was also thinking that I might attempt to quit alcohol. I've never tried before. I mean I've said that I "never want to drink ever again", after a big night out but at no point did I really mean it. This time, I have one good reason other than that piercing headache. I've come to a point where I am pretty sure that I don't like me on alcohol. I don't like that person I am when I drink. I think I may be suppressing something. Maybe I just need a prolonged break. Yeah that's the idea that is currently floating around in my head... it would be party pooper-ish I suppose but shit there are worse things than actually having to talk about something substantial and having to construct a full sentence. Oh well... it's just an idea. I can see you rolling your eyes.

I guess the other idea that kind of goes with that one is... if I don't drink, surely I need a vice of some sort? and that vice has to be affordable and ideally it won't give me cancer or a mental illness. In all seriousness, I think I am predisposed to mental illness given my family history. This rules out smokes and pot. Meth tried to flatline me. I can't afford coke so that's out. Speed is grose. Pills are fun but are useless and give me depression. K? everyday? surely not. Maybe I just need something to obsess over. I have an addictive personality. Well I'm thinking about it. Maybe I need to obsess over life. Are there people out there who are actually addicted to LIFE? like people other than religious people?

Okay I've got a sore throat. I'm busy tomorrow working on my project. See ya!