Issues

I am (still) finding it hard to get up to go to work in the morning. I figured this isn't really that surprising. You've worked your arse off only to be told you aren't wanted and then you are STILL expected to turn up to work for a whole month and during this time, you are expected to search for work within the SAME company. Yes, the same company that has just made the job you've been happily occupying redundant. And fuck, it is so retarded that they can lay this bull shit on us. I have been hell as busy for the last four and a half years and then they try to tell us that actually, you were just excess. Rightie-O, I don't believe you.

Long weekend

I'm not going to Armidale anymore. I don't like the country. I am a city person and I figured I should stop pretending to like anything but big cities. I like bright lights and movement and people and I don't like cows and farms and bad smells. I do still like the beach - I make an exception for beaches. Anyway, I need weekend plans now. I need exciting, radical, life changing plans. I don't want to be stuck at home. Are you out there?

Night terrors

I could be watching too much Boston Legal, but I really do think I get night terrors. A friend stayed over the other night and was witness to me yelling and shouting in my sleep. I then woke up in a sweat. I don't sweat much in real life so this is something. After I got back to sleep, I then laughed in my sleep. I know I've had a messed up childhood (a lot of Chinese kids who are born here do have crazy childhoods - I attribute it to a clash of the cultures) but maybe something more present is affecting my sleep. Last night, I had a large glass of pinot to put me to bed. My mum has been drinking port to help her sleep for years. Xanax where are you? Actually, maybe I really need it for unrecreational purposes - see guy from the band wavves... ironic that he's probably used the drug for fun and now needs to use it to get straight again.