Midday Tuesday - have moved from feeling angry to resigned to my current situation. It's now time to find an escape through shovelling as much carb and sugar loaded food into my stomach as possible. Am thinking a burger? pizza? maybe even a vanilla slice.

I'm turning on the "there is more to life" and the "bigger picture" engine now.

I guess one of my parents hasn't died, someone close hasn't gone missing and I'm still, as far as I know, healthy so there's still lots to be grateful for. I am so tempted to resort to drugs and booze to make this brain think less but for now, I'm not going to. It's an option, though, that I will keep in my back pocket!

What am I going to do for my next step? I've only really got a month to decide or maybe my whole life. Do I want to jump at this "once in a life time chance" to change direction completely or should I try for something else within the company that has just made me redundant? Now that I've actually typed that, it almost sounds ridiculous that I would even contemplate it but I am, because I don't particularly want to move home which may eventuate if I don't have any income for an extended period of time. I guess I could just move from friend's couch to friend's couch but that isn't really appealing at this stage. Not yet, anyway.

(I just cancelled my haircut at the salon. I can't afford an expensive stylised cut anymore.)